When I was in my office as a new congressman, I got to thinking: What do I want to change? Legalize weed in my district? No, too risky. Prostiution? Not with that Craigslist killer around. Help out musicians and artists? Yeah, that sounds good.

So here’s what I did. I called my friends from all the labels I used to be associated with in my musician days, and I told them to give me a list of all their artists. I would go down the list and contact them all, asking each to call their other congressman. Why?

I’m going to get them the money they are due! I’m tracking down all the internet conglomerates and demand they be fair. I’m going to tax the malarkey out of them. Being a congressman, I can’t curse like I used to. I’m a Christian now and must keep my words clean.

I’m introducing to legislation to give a tax credit to musicians whose music is downloaded, either for free or illegally. Hey, if they are compensated at the end of the year, is it still illegal?

Congressman Coyle

As I was elected to Congress, there were a couple of things I had to do first before getting to work.

First: I had to think about what the real work was going to be. Yes, I campaigned on medical marijuana, tax breaks for musicians and a college concert fund, but now that I’m in this nice office with a sweet-ass secretary, I think I can just chill. I just want to chill. These benefits rock.

Second: I have to think about how I use language in public. I’m a public figure now, and my memoir laid out my experiences, but a potty mouth doesn’t go over too well with my constituents. That seventy year-old metal-mom who voted for me doesn’t mind, but what about the Christian Rock Fund? They are very successful and I must thank them for going to bat for me. No more curse words. Thank the Lord!!!

Third: Which committees do I need to be a part of? Like I said, I have a sweet job, but I don’t get paid that much and these committees can help me get that boat I want. I’ll still listen to the music and still support the medical marijuana, but hey, I need a place to think. The water calms me down. I can start a committee: The Party Of Artists…  Hmmm. I like that. The Party Of Artists.

I wonder how I can get people to sign up for that. That can be my next campaign… To be continued.

I’m thinking about becoming a congressman. Congressmen don’t get paid that much, but there is a certain amount of power that comes along with being one. Also, I think it’s awesome to have a chance to be called Congressman Coyle. I’ve always been interested in politics because it’s a dirty game; I like dirty games and I’m good at playing them. But ultimately, I want to help my community and focus on the things that affect me and people like me.

Imagine if I did become a congressman in 10 years. There are a couple of things I’d have to do. First things first – I’d have to write a memoir to tell everyone all the things I’ve done. I’d have to let people know that the things I’ve experienced were good and bad, but have shaped my world view. My memoir is my platform. The main problem with my memoir is I’ve done so many drugs I can’t remember a lot of things that have happened to me!

As a congressman, I’d first see about getting medical marijuana into the hands of musicians so they can create and relax. Second, I’d try to get a budget for colleges to fund concerts like they do over in England. It works very well for them and could do well for us as well. Third, I’d try and get a tax break for musicians who are marginalized by internet downloading. So, vote for me, Dallas Coyle for Congress!

Well, Obama has won and now it’s time to celebrate a bit and hold him to his word. What I got out of this win is a personal goal to be more involved as a member of my community. I look at my community as an artists community. Under an Obama presidency I think there will be a tendency to get lazy and lenient because we won’t have someone we can complain about. At least not yet. 
 
What does an Obama presidency mean for musicians and artists? I have no clue. I really don’t. I know “lobbyist” is a bad word but what if we became the lobbyists synonomous with the Obama Administration? That would be pretty damn cool. A coalition of artists who got to Washington to fight for our intellectual property rights! The fight for the knowledge based wealth system is a new fight that I believe an Obama administration would respect. 
 
How do we do this? How do we form a coalition that Washington will listen to? How many people would it take? How many artist are actually out there? I don’t want this win to stop here. Obama says he’ll listen to us and now he has to live up to his word. Throw me some ideas you may have about organizing a coalition to get a majority to fight for our rights as artists! I’m listening!

MySpace. Gotta love it, gotta hate it. 
 
MySpace has opened up a whole new world for music. A social networking site turned music giant, MySpace has become essential to the comedians, musicians and actors always found on the front page of the site. In other words, MySpace gets paid by advertisers to get their products on to myspace. 
 
This subject is a troubling one. MySpace has a system which you now must use in order to get noticed. These days bands can’t get signed unless they have more than 20,000 friends on MySpace. You need to have more than 200 plays a day! This is lunacy! This is madness! THIS IS SPARTA! 
 
No, seriously… What happened to the days of hearing a band you liked, not knowing their stats, and supporting them? MySpace is like a sick, fake-name, faceless popularity contest. You are told a band is great because there view counts and their comments are like, “OMFG, u guys RAWK!” A band is the new rage because their members are ten years old, can shred faster than the speed of light and have over 30,000 other ten-year-olds signed up as their friends. 
 
Through all of this, I’d like to ask one question: How do we get paid for our 20,000 friends and our 100,000 listens? I don’t really know, but MySpace at some point is going to have to pay up. And we’re going to have to make them. 
 
I know they have a disclaimer somewhere on their site that allows them the right to place your music for free. These guys are a corporate conglomerate and they want to use your music for free? It’s the chicken or egg game. Yes, every band needs MySpace, but at what cost? Let’s get down to the brass tacks and get in MySpace’s ASS! Do you want to know why! THIS IS AMERICA! Do some research and tell me what you find! I’ll do my own. Let’s get paid for the intellectual property we create from nothing. Songs, poems, art, etc.